Save Me

Pain the pain I had long ago is back.....the pain i never wanted to feel is real and worse then ever....but this pain makes me feel as if I am alive no matter how much it hurts.....my stomach want's to fall out, my heart is ripped more than usual. I don't know if I made this hurt again to see if i was alive or if i made it hurt to make me move. But all I want is to lay down and die again as I did before I want it all to go away. I was numb before can't I be numb again I don't want to feel don't want to be alive....but I do.....is it that pain is better than nothing for to feel nothing is that right I don't know what I want I don't know what I need but something....please something....someone save me....