Save Me

Pain the pain I had long ago is back.....the pain i never wanted to feel is real and worse then ever....but this pain makes me feel as if I am alive no matter how much it hurts.....my stomach want's to fall out, my heart is ripped more than usual. I don't know if I made this hurt again to see if i was alive or if i made it hurt to make me move. But all I want is to lay down and die again as I did before I want it all to go away. I was numb before can't I be numb again I don't want to feel don't want to be alive....but I do.....is it that pain is better than nothing for to feel nothing is that right I don't know what I want I don't know what I need but something....please something....someone save me....

Scattered

Emotions run deep
They always do
No matter what the pain seeps through

tears roll down
stomach in knots
trying to breath

nothing works
this hole won't mend
pain is all I have in the end

it will consume me
eat me whole
it is where I live

the numbness comes
it's nice for a while
but the pain always wins

no where to go
try to fight
but I can't

I needed you to fight
you gave up
you don't even know
torn in a thousand pieces
scattered all over
leaving them behind you where ever you go

no one want's to pick them up
no one want's to try
nothing to do but smile as I die inside

Again

It feels like it’s starting again
That happiness those feelings
That tingle inside the face that I can’t stop thinking of
It’s different this time it’s taken a new face
That smile you give I love to see
The smell you have think on it now the twinge deep down
It makes my heart beat faster my berth catches in my throat
Then I remember the pain
The way it will come again
I fear all too soon
It will consume me again it will take me
The darkness will overwhelm
How many times can a heart shatter
I don’t want to shatter
The pain I can feel it even with the happiness
That pain, despair, loneliness
Everything I had before time does not make it better
I wish for love I wish to be happy but nothing ever last