3 Seconds Of Love

Love is something that is so wonderful

It fills us all up and allows us to never feel like we will ever fall

But what happens to those of us who only fall

Those of us who to love means nothing but pain

How are we to live while everyone around us get's to soar

It's like liveing in a world of eagals

While your the only one who's wings have been cliped

There is nothing magical about it

They say the best thing about falling is the 3 seconds of flight

The problem is falling will never be like falying

When you fall you always hit the ground

But when you fly you never half to crash

All I do is fall I can never fly

I always half to crash

I dream of flying I dream of love

But that's all it is a dream

None of this will ever be none of this is for me

The pain that last ever more will alway be within me

Those 3 seconds is all the love I'll ever see.....

One more shot....

I want to rip it all out

Everything gone

I don't want to live as me anymore

A blank a redo another start

Maybe this time I can be better

Happier Sweeter Nieave

I live with this life the choices I have made

But I also live with the choices others made for me

To loose it all would that be so bad

Loosing what I had but to be able to gain everything I will never have

One more shot to Love

One more shot to Live

One more shot to Die

What would happen

It could all just happen the same way again

But the hope that I will get my Happy Ending is enough to try

Throw it all away to allow me a chance to truly have something real

To not hate who I am what I am what I have become

But this is the life I have no going back

No way to fix it....Just empty wishes and broken dreams

Self Distruction

Self Distruction is all i know

It's what I do

Anything that's good or right

I must Destroy

Happiness, Love, Joy, Hope

These things are nothing but abominations to my soul

Pain, Despair, Lonelyness, Loveleness

These are the things I procect

They are what I know what I understand

This is what my life is made of so I cling to it

Creat it

and Destroy all else

Till I'm broken and brused just the way I should be

The way I feel I was ment to be

I say that I want to be hole but that can't be true

Deep down I know this is something I can never be

Falling Appart

I feel it why

It's happening my stomach is in knots

I'm loosing something I never had

My heart it pumping stronger then ever

It happens every time it breaks

Maybe it feels like it should pump all it can before it breaks

It may never beat again it want's to beat all it can

My breath is catching in my throat

I'm throwing away what I never had

It's not even my choice

What can I do how can I stop this

I thought I had finished breaking

I thought I was done with love

I don't want this again

I'm tired of love being just out of reach

But feeling it all so real with out feeling the touch

Why do i half to break while everyone else get's what I want

For once I just want it to work out........

Monster

Look at that Monster

Tears do not fool me

Go away

No one should half to look at you

No one want's to endure the torture that you call your love

You will never be loved

Horrible Monster

Vial Lissome Creature

Evil and Discusting

You deserve nothing

Someone should kill you

So no one would ever half to look at you

Will no one slay the Beast

She is right there looking at me

In that mirror

The Game

I step up to the table

Been here before

Lost it all once

All for nothing, or is it;

All or nothing

Quit for a while

Laid down only what meant nothing

Tried to play it safe

Won some, lost little

Got back most of what I lost

Never really got it all back

Never give up

Everyone knows that lucky draw or roll will come

Then it happened

Again....Again....

No...no...stop...stop now...

My head is saying you have been here before

Just take your chips and go

There just toying with you; they want it all again

Leaving nothing

The heart is raceing

Go on.....go on risk it all

Bets are in, no way to stop it now

Ball goes round, Dice are thrown, Card is Drawn

Whatever happens now will decide my fate

Does this one love me

Or will I loose it all again

Doors

I don't know how to get out

I see all these doors opening

But for other people

As for me all I can see

Are doors being slammed shut

Right befor me

I feel as if every time I turn around

A friend has walked though

There door leaving me in an empty hall way

How do I get out