Nonsense

i was thinking why? what is the point of going throught this world it's so full of pain and suffering what is it really i know what it's all about i know what the big pick is it's just I keep loosing it. i loose my self all the time i don't know if i have ever been me I don't even know who me is. I don't know who i am than how is anyone else going to get to know me let alone love me. i'm just so lost. So scared that no matter what I do who i am it will never be good enought for love. I don't seee how if anyone knew me they could possibaly love me i don't even know how the friends I do have have anything to do with me. That's why i hold on to things for too long thing that i should let go b/c everything I have ever cared about always goes away and I scared that this will go away and i will be left with nothing. Yes i can go out and look but i just don't understand what good I am to anyone. I just see myself wandering in and out no one careing wearther i was there or not. That person that you try to avoid b/c they are sad and pathetic you don't wnat to go neer them for fear of being sucked in to a conversation with them but you pitty them i n a weird way. That sad pathetic soul doomed to an eternity of lonleyness and sad memories that will never bring her piece. So these words are in here and I want them out but to never here them spilled forth from these lips of mine. I really just started this for me no one else it's just soemthing as a outlet don't expect this to make any sense what so ever.